If you could choose just one thing to be a little more honest about today, what would it be?
Would you admit to being wrong about something?
Would you accept that you can’t do everything and ask for some help?
Or would you realize that you really don’t want to lose weight, and let yourself completely off the hook?
When I asked my new client Julia this question, she realized that she’s like a duck on a pond, putting a calm, controlled image on the surface while she scrambles underneath to stay afloat. This was the beginning of her most powerful healing journey.
Justifying things that aren’t perfect can make life a little easier on the surface. For example, if you’re afraid to try something new, you might tell yourself that it isn’t something you really want. If you tried something and failed, you might blame the circumstances. If you made a big decision and want to change your mind, you might convince yourself to tough it out. It’s those little white lies you tell yourself to avoid whatever pain or fear the truth holds.
That pain or fear is usually some form of judgment or rejection. You won’t try the new thing because if you don’t do it perfectly the first time, someone will judge you. If you failed at something and it was your fault, admitting that even to yourself can be painfully humiliating. If you change your mind on a big decision, you might lose the approval of those who believed in you. Instead, you create a story about it and maintain the image so you don’t have to face the consequences.
It seems harmless, but what are you giving up in return?
Maintaining an image, even for yourself, creates conflict where there could be peace. When you deny your fears, mistakes, or failures, it’s like you refuse to see them. Refusing the truth creates resistance, like static electricity in your energy system, and that can accumulate into some pretty big limits.
On the other hand, acceptance is the opposite of resistance. If you take the opportunity to admit imperfection, then you can see it. Once you see it, you have the chance to accept it. From there, you can change or grow if you choose, or just live in peace with the acceptance.
Now, imagine all the little white lies you have told yourself, or images you have created for others to see. Can you see how maintaining all those denials can limit your options?
How can you ever change your mind, or choose a new path, or heal any of your limits if you’re stuck denying so many imperfections? Imagine how it would feel to accept every last one of them instead. Or imagine how your life might improve if you had the freedom to grow through them. The journey from fear to acceptance is where the entire growth process lives.
To take the first step, just pick one thing, and be a little more honest about it.
It may be enough to admit something to yourself, but the bar is always higher when you share it with someone else, especially when that someone else would be affected by your honesty. Be ambitious and raise that bar high, or just take a baby step, but be sure it’s high enough to expose some fear.
The next step is to resolve the fear you find, start embracing acceptance, then keep raising the bar to find more freedom with each layer of honesty.
This may be easier said than done, but if you find that the gap between the fear and acceptance is bigger than you expected, know that the bigger the gap, the bigger the opportunity for change. And remember that resolving these issues is my specialty, and I often use honesty as an angle to dig them up.
I recommend EFT as a powerful DIY tool to work through emotional issues just like this, and you can find out how in my EFT DIY blog. If you prefer the faster, more powerful results with a professional, you can explore My Approach or contact me for availability.