Being more positive and focusing on best possible outcomes can be a powerful strategy when you’re trying to move forward. However, some people have committed so completely to positivity that they disregard the reality they want to shift. That’s when being positive isn’t nearly as productive.

To illustrate with a relationship example, let’s say Catherine has her heart set on finding her soulmate. For years, she has been focused on her list of ideal characteristics, and going on dates but not finding anyone who seems to fit. Every now and then she will explore a relationship with someone who seems like a good match but eventually realizes that he is not the soulmate she requested. Her solution is to walk away and keep focusing on her list.

She turned one man away because he liked to ride motorcycles and she couldn’t see herself enjoying that. She walked away from another because his religious beliefs were not the same as hers. Her attraction to each of them was strong, but her resistance to the differences was stronger. Little did she know, the soulmate she was working towards needed her to find acceptance in both of these directions before he could come forward.  She was walking away in an effort to speed up her process, but instead, stalled it completely by not engaging with the growth opportunities.

Now, let’s say Alan would really like to double his sales volume so he can bring in more income each month. He does a visualization of his goal several times a week and then looks for his opportunities to materialize. Compared to salesmen who are making more money, he has less experience with the products, he isn’t as confident about closing a sale, and he could use stronger rapport skills.

However, Alan has never considered that he might need to become a better salesman in order to make more money. He admires the success of the others, but has never considered learning anything from them. He believes that focusing on his goal with a positive attitude is all he needs to get there. Meanwhile, he has ignored the seminar invitations and networking opportunities that were intended to help him develop the skills he needs.

People who over-use the positivity tool seem to believe that they can wish for a new life and disregard the one they have. Trying to “rise above” the learning curve will usually bring temporary pleasure but not much in the way of long term results.

The secret is to move through the struggle, not rise above it. If you maintain a positive attitude while your feet are still in the mud, you will find far more power on your journey. Remember that real change can only happen in the present; focusing entirely on dreams for the future will take you away from the present and undermine your development.

  • Balance your positivity with an awareness of the present by dealing with the situations that are right in front of you. Dive in and learn everything you can from each one.
  • Use your positive belief to establish your ideal outcome and trust that it will guide you in that direction.
  • Then, find comfort in taking it one step at a time. If you persist in growing until you make it through the mud, your belief in the positive will pay off, and the struggle you left behind will no longer haunt you.
  • Try not to make your own decisions about how to reach your goal. Trust that your wish has been heard and that the Universe will present your growth opportunities one at a time to help you get there.
  • Be proactive about healing the issues and beliefs from your past that lead you into these situations in the first place. Take on genuine growth as an ongoing practice and start really making a difference in your life.

I recommend EFT as a powerful DIY tool to clear issues in the past, and you can find out how in my EFT DIY blog. If you prefer the faster, more powerful results with a professional, you can explore My Approach or contact me for availability.